Being Human Wiki
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Date 1 February 2011
References BBC - Official Website

Adam has posted a profile of Christa:

Christa wants us to write these stupid suspect profiles, so I'm sure she won't mind that I've made her the first one. It's only seems fair...

NAME Christa Stammers

APPEARANCE Fit but unwashed. Could do with a little product. Starting with soap.

Dresses like an undercover cop at a homeless shelter. Big fan of layers. I'm guessing that by the time she gets undressed at night it's time to get up again.

ATTITUDE Unfriendly veneer covering thinly disguised raging horn for me. It's so obvious it's kind of embarrassing. Get a room. With me.

No, seriously. Let's get a room.

SOCIAL CIRCLE Emo? Goth? Outcast. Also new member of the Supernatural Monster Squad, an elite crime-fighting and lie down dance team which I just formed this very minute and which I am president of and founding member.

REASON FOR SUSPICION She's grudgingly agreed to help solve Matt's murder, which could just be a brilliant smokescreen to deflect attention from her. Also, just like most women, she turns into a monster once a month. Yes, that was a period joke.

OTHER COMMENTS I will of course do my best to work alongside her, although she is from a group that is my traditional enemy. I'm talking of course, about goths. Ha ha. Got you. You thought I was going to say emos. Which I wasn't because the first time I went to school in the 80's they hadn't been invented and as far as I can see an emo is just a goth with worse hair and crapper taste in music.

Talking of hair, hers is quite limp. She also has a sadness behind the eyes. I have a theory that the two may be connected. Perhaps she's spent years looking for some elusive shampoo and conditioner combo that will combat her specific problem of flyaway roots and split middles.

I wonder if she's tried crunching dog biscuits. I hear that they can be quite good for the coat.

Okay, okay. That was a cheap shot. In the spirit of co-operation, I am willing, in a gesture of great personal sacrifice, to drag a chicken on a string around a waterbed in a classy but surprisingly affordable motel.

Call me.


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